Today I have been into work. You two had a lovely day with Grandma and you were both very very good. I'm so glad you're happy with her, she loves you so much! And Grandpa is retiring soon, so he gets to spend time with you too. You're going to have such a fabulous time! Two days with them, and two at nursery. E already loves nursery and has been going since she was 11 months. P, I hope you love it too.
Work was interesting. I mean, I kind of enjoyed it. But I missed you so much.
I know I'd be a rubbish stay at home mum with you both. I don't have the patience needed, or the ideas to keep you entertained. I do admire people who do it. Also, in reality, we need the money. So work it is. Doesn't mean I'm ready to send you to childcare. P seems so little to let someone else look after her. And I have mum guilt. For lots of reasons.
But I know it will work out. We are lucky to have grandparents to have you both for two days a week, and lucky to have a nursery we like and that E at least seems to enjoy. Lucky to have weekends as family time, and I'm lucky to have one day a week as a girls' day to do something nice! I hope I can keep it as a special day and appreciate it for what it is. I promise to try not to be grumpy, short tempered or busy doing jobs on that day....we'll see!
I know how excited you are E to have P going along to Grandma's and nursery with you. You keep telling me how you're going to go upstairs to the Baby Room at nursery to check she is ok, give her a cuddle and a kiss and then go back downstairs. I know how much you love your wee sister and how much you look after her at home and at Grandma's, so I know you'll look after her at nursery too. Thank you.
So I have two weeks left before I go back to work. I hope I can fill them with love, smiles and cuddles. I hope I can hold every moment in my heart to remember it when I'm back in school looking after other people's children.
Love you little girls,
Your soppy (slightly sad, guilty-feeling) Mummy x
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