Smiles, crawling and hospitals!

Dear P,

I was thinking recently that you get less letters on here than your sister....I guess she does more than you at the moment. But that doesn't stop you being gorgeous.

You've settled well at nursery and you're coping well with my return to work. You seem to be growing every day and you're much bigger than E was at your age. You're also still looking much like she did which is a source of amusement as we look at baby photos trying to work out which of you it is. There are definite differences though. Grandpa commented the other day about your smile. It lights up the room! E had a gorgeous smile, and it really was very similar to yours, but her eyes were a more intense blue than yours so you noticed them first, where with you it is definitely your smile that lights up your face. Gorgeous, truly gorgeous.

You've also started to cuddle right into us, which is just lovely. You've always been a cuddly baby, but now you initiate cuddles, and snuggle with up close. You also blow kisses, and yesterday you were leaning in to kiss my face. Too cute for words!

You now have two bottom teeth, which were painful for you for a while (and now are only painful for me when you trick me into putting my finger into your and then chomping down hard!). You're not bothering to move much though. You sit very solidly and love sitting playing with a box of toys. You now try to move one leg under you so you look as though you are about to crawl off, but you haven't mastered that yet. If we put you on your hands and knees, you look at us like we're mad and then cry! You love being up on your feet, but don't seem to appreciate that you need a little balance, so you have to hold on tight to our hands. You'll get there in your own time, and for now I'm enjoying being able to put you down and come back to you still in the same place. After all, why move when you have a devoted big sister who will bring you anything you want!

The next couple of weeks are due to be a little hospital related! Daddy has gall stones and is havig his gall bladder removed on Thursday. We'll go and stay at Grandma and Grandpa's but apart from that life should be too different for you. Here's hoping all goes well for him. And then a week after that it's your turn, baby girl. You have a tongue tie, which I noticed as soon as you were born, but division is rarely done in small babies unless it affects feeding. You never suffered from this problem, but it concerns me that it may affect your speech, so we're having it divided. Only a tiny operation, but it does need a general anaesthetic. I'm sorry for putting you through it, but it is with your best interests at heart. So I'll be with you and hopefully Daddy too if he's recovered from his op. Here's just hoping E doesn't decide to compete and need a hospital too!

Big smiley snuggles,

Mummy x

Dear E,

“You can kid the world. But not your sister”

Charlotte Gray

Sisters, and best friends. That's you and P. You regularly tell us she is your "best best ever friend", and long may it continue. Thank you for loving her, and thank you for looking after her at Grandma's and nursery. She is settling into nursery and you're loving having her there. I thought it was lovely that you always ask if you can go upstairs to the baby room to see her at nursery...until the staff told me that you like to go up, say hello to P, and then play with the babies' toys and not speak to your sister again! I guess it's a bit like at home, where you prefer her toys to your own!

You're hilarious to talk to these days, and you do keep me entertained.Things like sitting on the edge of the frame of Polly (the rocking horse!) and holding your baby monitor.....stroking it and calling it your guinea pig! It's called Phoebe apparently!

You're also obsessed by your 'baby'. She was a first birthday gift - the only non-scary-looking doll I could find not dressed in pink! She has recently been given a name, Milly....so at least we know now! But her Daddy apparently lives in the attic, and her sister is called Coda (the same as Aunty Sharon's dog!). I had to clarify to nursery that there was no other baby, and I hope they realised that Daddy isn't left in the attic all the time! Oh and Milly's Daddy is called Matt....obviously!

Last week we had sadness in the family. Your great grandad passed away. Very sad times. I didn't want to take you to the funeral so you didn't see the sadness, but we did talk about him, and about what had happened. You took it well, and seem to understand that he is in Heaven. I love the mental image you give us about him playing with Chewy the cat. However, on the day of the funeral, we had a lovely conversation :

E: Where are your Ma and Pa?

M: In Heaven

E: With Chewy?

M:Yes.

E: And with Great Grandad Lack?

M: Yes my love.

E: So they are with God in Heaven?

M: Yes

E: Is God ill?

M: No darling, God made the world!

E: (disbelieving) No he didn't *giggle*

M: No really, he did

E: But not the sun

M: Yes darling, he made the sun as well., God made everything

E: (giggles) But he didn't pop the sun out

M: He did honestly (trying to think of a new way to explain the creation story!)

E: But he didn't pop the sun out today Mummy...[E points at the window]...it's raining!

Keep on thinking my darling, and keep on making us giggle,

Love always,

Mummy x

How time flies....

Dear girls,

Let me take you back to the 12th March 2010. I was 8 months pregnant with a lovely (wriggly!) bump and I was feeling pretty emotional about leaving school to start my maternity leave. I was randomly crying (and blaming hormones!) about things like the thought of giving birth again, how to cope with two children and whether I was ruining E's life by making her share everything with a younger sibling.

It feels like only last week. How have 10 months gone so fast?

As it turns out, birth was a pretty good experience, having two kids is amazing, and E, you just adore your little sister, who in turn looks up to you and melts my heart!

Tomorrow is the start of a new chapter. Four days a week of childcare for you and work for me! I feel very strange about it. As I blogged before, I'm sure you'll be ok. P hasn't been enjoying nursery that much, but I know how much you love Grandma so I'm sure you'll be ok. I'm not that keen on my job but I know I can do what I've been asked to do, so I'll be fine. Tonight I'm feeling slightly more worried as I had convinced myself P would be ok as E was at nursery too so could go and cuddle her if needed. Today E is ill - ears as usual! - and I don't think she'll be at nursery tomorrow. I'm sure P will be ok, but it's one more thing to worry about!!

Anyway, I best go pack the bags for tomorrow.....need to be more organised!!!

Love you, even when I'm not with you,

Mummy xxx

Time for changes

Dear girls,

Today I have been into work. You two had a lovely day with Grandma and you were both very very good. I'm so glad you're happy with her, she loves you so much! And Grandpa is retiring soon, so he gets to spend time with you too. You're going to have such a fabulous time! Two days with them, and two at nursery. E already loves nursery and has been going since she was 11 months. P, I hope you love it too.

Work was interesting. I mean, I kind of enjoyed it. But I missed you so much.

I know I'd be a rubbish stay at home mum with you both. I don't have the patience needed, or the ideas to keep you entertained. I do admire people who do it. Also, in reality, we need the money. So work it is. Doesn't mean I'm ready to send you to childcare. P seems so little to let someone else look after her. And I have mum guilt. For lots of reasons.

But I know it will work out. We are lucky to have grandparents to have you both for two days a week, and lucky to have a nursery we like and that E at least seems to enjoy. Lucky to have weekends as family time, and I'm lucky to have one day a week as a girls' day to do something nice! I hope I can keep it as a special day and appreciate it for what it is. I promise to try not to be grumpy, short tempered or busy doing jobs on that day....we'll see!

I know how excited you are E to have P going along to Grandma's and nursery with you. You keep telling me how you're going to go upstairs to the Baby Room at nursery to check she is ok, give her a cuddle and a kiss and then go back downstairs. I know how much you love your wee sister and how much you look after her at home and at Grandma's, so I know you'll look after her at nursery too. Thank you.

So I have two weeks left before I go back to work. I hope I can fill them with love, smiles and cuddles. I hope I can hold every moment in my heart to remember it when I'm back in school looking after other people's children.

Love you little girls,

Your soppy (slightly sad, guilty-feeling) Mummy x

Happy New Year!

Dear girls,

Well 2010 has been a lovely year. Started well with our gorgeous E, and the arrival of our beautiful little P in April really completed our little family.

I can't quite believe the pair of you are as old as you are (or indeed that it's New Year's Eve!). E is 3 years and almost 3 months, and P is 8 months old. Two gorgeous wee girls. Still very alike and still the absolute best of friends. E often tells us that P is her "best best ever friend".....long may it continue.

I don't make new year's resolutions as I would always break them, but I hope 2011 is a fabulous year for our family. I'm writing this sat at home with not even a sniff of alcohol as I have awful laryngitis and feel awful, so 2011 can only get better!

Love you loads girls....can't wait to write to you more in 2011,

Love always,

Mummy x

(Un)requited love?!

Dear E,

Recently we've been giggling about love. I tell you that I love you and you tell me I don't. I hope you know I do though. You also like to tell me, "I don't like your kisses!" in a very strong tone.....at which I cover your face in tiny kisses which makes you giggle a lot. At least right now you're always laughing/smiling when you wipe my kisses away....I hope that never changes.

Last night you girls had got ready for bed and you were tootling off with Daddy to brush your teeth and read stories. I was sat on my bed ready to feed P and put her down in her cot. I always ask Daddy to turn the light off, and one of you closes the door. So the door closed, and the light went off...then suddenly the door re-opened and your smiling face popped round and said (quite unprompted), "I love you right up to the moon and back!". You disappeared as fast as you had come, but it made me smile (and well up slightly!!).

Then another moment I should write about (just so you see that Daddy can be romantic occasionally)......Today in Tesco the lady on the checkout was commenting on our two beautiful girls, and I was saying you are both total Daddy's girls, and no-one loves me. Daddy said straight out, "I love you." Bless him!

Love you - and I always will, and you're not to forget that,

Mummy x

I should of known!

Dear E,

So it seems you are always right. I mean, I notice you're right a lot of the time, but actually I'm beginning to think that aged 3 you do know everything.

One thing I've always giggled about is your slight misunderstanding of the word Eureka. It's the name of a Children's museum in Halifax which we love. But whenever we talk about going to Eureka, you call it 'My Reka'. I guess it's logical (if you say it all out loud!), but it does make me giggle. You just won't have it any other way.

But then yesterday I took a trip there with P. I am sorry for not taking you, but you were in nursery and I knew you wouldn't really want to miss that....plus I am a bad mum! Well, with that admission out of the way, I shall continue.....P and I got the train from Todmorden to Halifax as Eureka is right next to the station. As we pulled into Halifax station, I looked over and on the window was this huge poster :

I think the other people on the train thought I was mad for laughing out loud, but it just shows....you are always right!

(With thanks to the lovely Kerry for the photo...if you look carefully you can see the reflection of me and baby P in the window!!)

Yours ignorantly,

Mummy x